Why I Failed That Exam

As it turns out, you can't blame me for failing that exam. After all, when you divide it all up, a year only has 365 days...

1) SUNDAYS: One year has 104 Sundays, and once you count these days, the year only has 261 days.

2) HEAT: In one year, there are about fifty days that are very hot, and it is impossible for me to study on these days. So, of the 261 days, I only have 211 days left.

3) Moreover, a year has many different holidays, such as Yuan Dan, Guo Qing, Wu Yi, winter holiday, etc. After you count all these, I've lost another 50 days! So of the 211 days, I only have 161 days left.

4) Of these 161 days, every day has eight hours reserved for sleeping and three hours reserved for eating. All together for sleeping and eating, you use up 74 days, and my year only has 87 days left.

5) Preparing for exams also requires some practice time. All told, this practice takes up 40 days of the year. Of those 87 days, we only have 37 days left.

6) During the course of the year, I also spend some time watching films and taking part in other activities outside of school. This takes up in the least 20 days out of the school year, and after I subtract these from my 37 days, I only have 17 days left.

7) I have 17 days left. Naturally, every day I have to have some play time, at least two hours for being with friends, a half hour for shopping, a half hour for personal time, a half hour for going to the bathroom and other matters of hygeine, and a half hour for snacking. This takes up another four days of the year, and altogether I only have 13 days left.

8) Normally, during the course of one year, you should plan to be sick for about a week. Subtracting seven days, I only have six days left.

9) In one year, you have to take into account, perhaps five days, in which you are punished by the teacher. For example, having to fazhan (stand for long periods of time as punishment), writing essays about what you've done wrong, cleaning as punishment, and so on. Altogether in one year, I only have a single day left!

10) And wouldn't you know it, that last day is my birthday!

As you can see, in a single year, there is simply no time for me to study! So how could I possibly have passed that exam??

[ NOTE TO OUR READERS: The Management is aware that some of the numbers (i.e. 104 Sundays in a year?!) in Snake's essay do not quite work out. This fact has been pointed out to Snake, who has subsequently insisted on the accuracy of his mathematics. Ah, well.]